Using Dialogue to Show Not Tell

As a writer, you’ve probably had it beaten into your head that you must, “show, don’t tell,” when writing. But what does that mean? Essentially, you’re trying to create an experience for the reader. You’re painting a picture with words so that the reader feels like they are part of the story. When we “show” we create that immersive effect. When we “tell” we are essentially robbing the reader of that experience. Now, there are times when that is necessary, but that is for another post. Today, I’m talking about how we can create that immersive effect through the use of dialogue.

When talking about writer strengths, Kamrny’s has always been her descriptive language and elegant prose, mine has always been dramatic inner monologues and dialogue. Dialogue, when used effectively, drives the story forward and can reveal so many different things without having to use writing space explaining.

For example: “Ugh, put some sunscreen on your stupid freckles! I don’t want to deal with you whining about a sunburn because you forgot again.”

We can pick apart these two sentences and make a lot of inferences.

• The person they’re talking to has freckles. This one seems obvious, but it saves time when describing their physical description since we now know a key feature. It may also be a nod that the person they are speaking to has fairer skin or burns easily.

• The person speaking does not find the freckles stupid. They’re concerned about them and the fact that they specifically call them out indicates they likely have a preference for the person’s freckles.

• The person speaking likely has a close relationship with the person they’re talking to. This isn’t always the case but we tend to nag the people closest to us. It could also be a person talking to a potential romantic interest (maybe even if it’s a bit reluctant, given the sass). But, if this person didn’t care, they wouldn’t bother telling them to put on sunscreen.

• The person they’re speaking to has forgotten sunscreen before, which could indicate that they are forgetful in nature. It is a reference to the past, further referencing a closer relationship between the two and a description of their personality.

• The person speaking may have a snarky or sassy personality but are caring in nature.

Normally a reader will not analyze each sentence like this. But those little details go into the reader’s subconscious, allowing them to draw those conclusions without it having to be spelled out for them. This is part of what creates that immersive effect for the reader because they have to come to those conclusions themselves. Readers like figuring out things. Give them just enough clues sprinkled in and let their minds do the rest. They will thank you for it!

I love dialogue because it allows you to write as the characters. You are their voice. It also is limitless what you can do through dialogue. Foreshadow, reference backstories, hide secrets, reveal a plot twist, confess feelings, the possibilities are endless.

One of my favorite interactions through dialogue are from The Cruel Prince by Holly Black (Mild spoilers ahead! Proceed with caution.)

Cardan: have I told you how hideous you look tonight?

Jude: No, Tell me.

Cardan: I can’t.

When I first read this, I gasped. There is so much with just a few sentences of dialogue. You get reminded of fae lore, where fae cannot tell lies but humans can. Cardan shows his mischievous side, trying to insult Jude but cannot lie and say she actually looks hideous, implying he feels the opposite. Jude knows this rule, and is just as smart and calls him out on it. Cardan is left to admit his defeat, and submission to Jude in the process. Talk about enemies to lovers (swoon).

Make sure that your dialogue is relevant to the character speaking. This involves a bit of reflecting on your characters before diving into the writing, but it will save you a lot of time in the editing process. Thinking about how a particular character would react and what they would say accordingly gives the character more depth and helps the reader connect with the character. Bland characters who speak the same aren’t memorable to the reader and you run the risk of them finding the character (and the story) boring.

The tone of your scene can also affect the dialogue as well. Think of what’s going on in the scene. Is there a battle to the death? Are the characters finally confessing their love? Are they speaking to their annoying boss who denied their PTO again?? Think about what emotions you want the reader to feel and think of how someone would speak in that scenario. A death battle likely involves shorter sentences since there is a lot of action and shouting, which uses a lot of breath. A love confession may have longer dialogues. They’re trying to win over their potential partner, they’re admitting all the feelings they have been hiding. And speaking to a jerk of a boss might be short but entirely polite and professional (but not so much in the inner-monologue).

One thing to be cautious of though is over-using dialogue. As much as we love seeing how characters interact, your dialogue should have a purpose in your story. It should be relevant to the scene. My advice is to simply write the scene in its entirety first, without stopping. Then, once finished, go back through and take out any unnecessary information, strengthen the language where it’s applicable and don’t stress too much over it. It will be thoroughly dissected in the self-edit and professional edit anyways.

So, write the dialogue, make it fun. Make it relevant and important. The things our character’s say are a lot of what we remember about a story. It allows us to love a particular character (or hate them) and don’t forget all the sneaky, implicit details you can add to make your writing more immersive because not everything has to be listed out as a paragraph.

What are some of your favorite pieces of dialogue? Also any Folk of Air fans? (are you excited about The Stolen Heir?) Let us know! As always, write-on and we’ll be back next week!