Romantic Dynamics

This week, we're talking all about types of romantic pairings. What are they? Which dynamic should you use for your story? Are some better suited for certain genres?

First, let’s start off with a popular one: enemies to lovers. This could be as simple as rivals arguing over a lemonade stand to as complex as mortal enemies hell-bent on killing the other and destroying everything they know and love. The idea is that these people start off on the complete opposite side from the other and actively do not like each other from the start. This instantly adds drama to your story because we love conflict. There’s the external conflict from whatever the pair are disagreeing over and there’s also the internal conflict as the pair gets closer together and are fighting those warm and fuzzy feelings.

A good enemies to lovers dives deep into the conflict between the two and somehow over the course of the story, the two are brought together and after getting to know the other through dialogue and action, the pair realize there is more to the other person and perhaps they aren’t so different after all. This change needs to be reluctant and slow before delivering on the romantic side of things. A great example that I love is The Cruel Prince by Holly Black. Other notable examples are Red, White and Royal Blue, Serpent and Dove, Kingdom of the Wicked, and These Violent Delights.

Next, my personal favorite: Grumpy/Sunshine. There’s just something about a mopey, angsty character that falls completely for the charm of a loveable sweetheart. This dynamic thrives on the concept of meeting a need in the other person. Usually the grumpy one learns to loosen up and have fun, trust people, let themselves be happy. The sunshine one may learn to express vulnerability or have a desire to not always be so smiley. The idea is that these two are very different, but fit together well. A great setup for a buddy love! Some examples are The Sun and Star, They Both Die at the End, The Visionary (had to plug our own novel here. Jade very fittingly is the grump to Dylan’s sunshine), and so many more. I likely will do a deeper dive into this dynamic at a later date.

Here’s a fun one: Bodyguard! This one is fun because there is an element of “forbidden romance” mixed with forced proximity–which you know we love. Usually this is someone of higher status (usually royalty) who falls for their personal guard. This has a lot of fun directions for you to go. This person may not be allowed to marry whoever they want (usually royalty) and may be bethrothed to someone else over the course of the story. There are lots of fun romantic cliches about rescuing their beloved from danger. This dynamic thrives on vulnerability and trust in each other. One person is literally trusting the other with their life while the other is devoting theirs to the other (for money, for the cause, etc.) and since the pair have likely spent a long time together and trust one another, it’s a great opportunity to show their deep bond and affection for one another. A great anime/manga recommendation for this is Yona of the Dawn.

Next, friends to lovers: this dynamic has all the feels. They say the best relationships start off as the best friendships and it is so precious seeing this dynamic being pulled off well. This usually involves a pair of close friends that have a bond like no other. They are the peanut to the other’s jelly. Somewhere along the way, at least one realizes that they have romantic feelings for the other. This is where we have the classic, “I need to hide my feelings so I don’t ruin our friendship,” trope which can be both endearing and frustrating for the reader. I, personally, am a total sucker for this stuff. The friendship slowly begins to change as the pair get closer to that next level and they must decide if they are going to take the leap of faith and go for it or if they’re going to pull away. This is great if you want to drag out the characters pining for each other and making all those little moments together hit you right in the feels. This is present in things like Avatar the Last Airbender (I know we talk about that show too much, but we love it) and Emma. For the sake of not being redundant I’m also including childhood friends with this topic, it just adds more background to the characters but the point of the close bond to something more remains the same.

Last but not least, we have reincarnation. A love that transcends lifetimes. This one is more self-explanatory but usually has one of two routes: one that dies and one that lives or where the pair die and their reincarnated selves inevitably run into the other and fall in love all over again. My personal favorite is the first option. There’s something lovely and tragic about the one that waits for their partner and learns to love them in each form and life they take on and the other who has no memory of the past but is drawn to the other and always ends up falling for them. It fills a need we have for wanting companionship. Having a partner no matter the lifetime is a great premise for a swoon-worthy love story. Especially if the lore around it is also fantastic. An oldie but a goodie recommendation is from the Fallen series.

There are more, but these are what I’ve most commonly found. Each of these could be used in any genre just make sure that your chosen dynamic fits your characters best along with the plot of your story. Friends to lovers works in all but reincarnation may be better suited for fantasy, sci-fi or contemporary. Your chosen dynamic should feel natural and make sense. If you aren’t sure, always ask a critique partner or beta reader for feedback.

This was a general overview of different couple dynamics for your novel. Since I adore these I will likely go in-depth on each of these individually with more advice, strategy and recommendations. Be sure to stay tuned for your favorite dynamic! Also be on the lookout for this month’s reading wrap-up! I’ve got at least two exciting books I cannot wait to share with you! Which dynamic is your favorite? Are you currently incorporating one of these? Let us know! We love all the feedback and answers you provide. As always, write on!